Seth Talks Comics has returned! Oh man, Nieces and Nephews, Uncle Manhammer lied to you. See, I was supposed to come back with another rip-roaring funny book article but I just couldn’t bring myself put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard?). The plan was to read Doomsday Clock #3 and compare it to a greasy Taco Bell deuce, but I just don’t have the energy to purchase something I know I’ll dislike and shred it (even though there was a lot to shred.) Don’t worry, if you were dialed in to get my commentary on the said issue, I’ll still buy the trade when it eventually drops in 2020.
Which brings me to my other point. Somehow, the event DC has been teasing in various forms for two years, announced that it was switching to a bi-monthly schedule. And not bi-monthly as in twice a month. Every. Other. Month. They claim this was done to maintain quality. I believe I read somewhere that artist Gary Frank got behind because his work was so detailed? I could be wrong. But whoever’s fault the delay of the book is should be punished accordingly. I’m not calling for anyone’s head on a pike, but given a two year lead time offers no excuse as to why this series wasn’t complete before the first issue went to press. So Geoff Johns can lick my butthole, Gary Frank can lick my butthole, and DC Comics can lick my butthole. I’ll bend over and spread ’em good and wide so everyone even tangentially associated with the delay in can lick my red, puckered, rosebud. Maybe if they’re lucky I’ll wipe. But I’ll still drink a lot of coffee and eat White Castle jalapeno cheeseburgers beforehand. I don’t know why, but that latter combination really cleans me out. And it’s one of those good poops, too. The easy wipers.
You know what else leads to good poops? Grape juice. Sometimes they even kinda smell like grapes. And shit. More like shit flavored grapes, but the smell is there. I’m getting off topic again.
Actually, I may not even buy the trade. After DC gained my interest back in their comic output I bought quite a few Rebirth trades, and some are better than others, but how many more Superman stories do I need? Or Batman? They’ll always be there anyway. I mentioned previously that I had been enjoying Invincible. It’s fun, the stories have stakes, and when it’s over, it’s over.
But man, I wanna talk about Saga! Why had no one told me about how good that comic was until now? I’ve devoured the first 48 issues over the span of a few days. I keep hearing people compare it to Game of Thrones meets Star Wars. Well, don’t listen to them, because it’s not. I mean, yeah, there’s space stuff, but Star Wars doesn’t have one-tenth of the heart Saga does. Each character is multi-faceted and has good points and bad… kinda like real people? Books like Saga exist to really stretch the envelope about what comics as a medium can do. Plus, it has nudity, swears, and violence. But I wouldn’t give it to a kid the way I’d give some of Dark Horse Comics latest Conan endeavors to a kid. I mean, realistically, it’s probably too sophisticated for me, but there is a spider-woman with eight legs and she runs around topless, so 14-year-old Manhammer would love this.
Basically, I’m immature.
But I’m a lovable kind of immature.