Would you mount me? I’d mount me. With Mount Your Friends by Stegersaurus Software, Inc., you can do just that! Mount me, mount them, mount their friends, or mount your friends! I really need you to understand that this game really takes its own homemade “That’s what she said” joke and runs with it. And you know what? I freaking love this game and you should to.
On the surface, Mount Your Friends looks simple and unimpressive. At a glance the art is a little plain. Videos simply show spinning, speedo clad dongles climbing awkwardly up a tower of similarly dressed but never too gratuitous speedo’ed men. But play the game just for a few minutes and you’ll realize why the videos just can’t do it justice.
The objective is simple: build a tower of people. You have a set amount of time to climb to the top. Then someone else takes a turn climbing the tower, now one person taller than it was before. Everyone takes turns, round robin style, until they are eliminated by failing to climb to the top within the time limit.
That’s it. Its very simple; however there are some neat features you need to take advantage of to rub a little funk on it.
First, you need to build a team. Your team can contain up to twenty men maximum and is really a pool of characters that get selected at random whenever it’s your turn. Think of this feature as a create a character. Here you can choose from a pretty wide variety of faces, hats, hair, body pieces and even body paint color. Be warned that many of the pieces that fit in the body category are indeed dick jokes. For example, there is a parcel that will sit over the characters swimsuit area that reads “fragile” and spins around in place as he moves.
Next, and arguably most importantly, you need to play this game with a controller. You will absolutely have better results with your thumbs rather than trying to master these controls using a keyboard. The game controls something like the old well known flash game, QWOP. For those who never endured this special kind of evil, in QWOP, you controlled an Olympic sprinter who is tasked to run down the track. Using only the keys ‘q’ ‘w’ ‘o’ ‘p’, you controlled the legs and knee joints of our hero and awkwardly tried to hobble down the track without falling.
Mount Your Friends is similar but more simplified. Each of the four buttons on your controller (or WASD for you stretchy fingered piano monsters on keyboard) directly affects a labeled hand or foot. Then using the control stick (mouse) you can swing that limb around into any position you like. Pressing the buttons will release the affected limb and allow it to hang there suspended if it is not touching anything. Any unpressed button will cling to any surface it manages to connect with. This will be one of those easy to learn yet difficult to master sorts of things. After a couple hours of play you’ll be timing your releases in order to fling yourself upwards, bypassing large sections of the masculine tower.
Now that you have the best gear for mounting with and a team to do the mounting, lets fiddle with some settings. There are four maps to choose from. The introductory map is a simple tower. Two others have dead zones that keep you from finishing your turn while within them, thus ratcheting up the difficulty. These force you to build your tower around them and provide a fun distraction. The fourth is a horizontal map where you climb out, not up, building a bridge to cross a gap. Again, a fun alternative for when you are stuck in a rut.
There are also a few extra conditions to play in. The low gravity effect does exactly what it sounds like; however, when you’ve taken to the art of tossing yourself short distance you’d better get used to tossing yourself long distances. The floaty drift to the top of the tower is both elegant and dangerously easy to overshoot your target. Alternatively you can engage a mode referred to as “Storm” which constantly pushes your character downward, fighting your every vertical motion as though a horrific wind pushes you back to terra firma.
Lastly, this game is called Mount Your Friends for a reason. Single player is for chumps and you’re gonna need some support to build those towers tall. The fact is, the goal of this game has the potential to get really stale really fast if you’re on your own all the time. With a pal or two riding sidecar you realize that as a social game, any and all of the smack-talking, made up sports commentary and just joking around about the horrible monsters climbing this tower is the glue that sticks it all together. It’s fun because it’s social. Winning is entirely secondary to the experience.
Mount Your Friends is a very simple and goofy game that knows how to just have fun without being too serious. It’s comedy, it’s suggestive as hell but never vulgar, and it brings out the juvenile sense of humor in all of us. Mount Your Friends is available on Steam in a four-pack for $15; I’m so glad that I scooped this one up and I think you will too.